Once upon a time in a far off place called Stunningland there was a goblin called Alex who hated everything beautiful. Every day he looked in the mirror and said to his reflection ‘Mirror mirror on the wall who is the most arrogant one of all?’ and the mirror would reply ‘you are – your Excellency and your work is not yet done’. Alex would chuckle to himself and go to work in the large, hugely over budget, purpose built Adoration Chamber in Follyrood, where his minions or Goblets gathered to listen to his every word.
‘Go forth worthless ones and do my bidding’ he said. ‘I want you to destroy all that is precious in Stunningland. Everything that the cretinous people love and cherish so that they know I can control every aspect of their lives and they can do nothing about it. Destroy the landscapes, the seascapes, the wildlife in the air, the seas and on the land, the communities that have held together for generations and while you are doing it stamp on any glimmers of democracy that may exist. I want it snuffed out so the people know I have to be obeyed’. Off the Goblets would scurry and do his bidding. This continued for many years until there was an uprising among the people of the Stunningland and they cried ‘Enough is enough’. They armed themselves with knowledge and proof and they humiliated and ridiculed the King Goblin and his Goblets until no-one believed anything they said and they were banished from the Kingdom forever. Anon.
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