A life-long environmentalist is killed in a plane-cash on the way to a “Save the planet” conference in Hawaii.
Upon arriving at the pearly gates he is shocked to be told that he is destined for Hell.
He’s not happy and harangues the gatekeeper with his protestations.
…”I always paid my carbon taxes in full, My net carbon-footprint was always less than half my shoe-size!”
His increasingly shrill protestations went on for some time!
Finally, an increasingly irritated St Peter snaps! “Listen loser, we’re doing you a favour.”
One, you don’t get hassled by angry vegetables that are pissed off with you advocating genocide, through a reduction in their food supply- CO2!
Two, rather than freezing your butt off, like the folks on Earth, you’ll stay warm!
But, and most importantly, three.
You’ll get to meet all your friends, watch the BBC throughout eternity, and not have to suffer the “I told you so” taunts of the “denialist” brigade!